Word Choice: Strong Verbs, Less Adverbs, Concrete Language

Trait 4: Word Choice

Before you begin:
1. pen the wiki.
2. Copy the stories of the two people below you (from our school) and paste it onto Word.
3. Type their names on top of their stories.
4. Print their stories. You will peer edit them, using the activities below.
5. You will bring these to class on Monday (G) and Tuesday (B).

Intro. and Warmer:

So. You should like your idea now (trait 1). You should feel pretty good about organization (trait 2) and voice (trait 3). Now it makes sense to look at your diction, or "word choice."

On his blog, The Business of Writing, businessman Phil Turner gives this advice about good business writing by pointing to Mr. "Shock-Proof S$*t-Detector" himself, Ernest Hemingway:

We’ve been talking about how to write in the business world. Here’s my starting point:

"Short sentences, short paragraphs, active verbs, authenticity, compression, clarity and immediacy."

Recognise this? It’s Ernest Hemingway. It’s the first thing he was taught as a young reporter on the Kansas City Star. He later said: "Those were the best rules I ever learned for the business of writing. I've never forgotten them." . . . .

Nowadays if people ask me to recommend a book on business writing, I give them a copy of The Old Man and the Sea. Just 100 pages. Not a word is wasted. It’s written for a 12-year-old and yet it won Hemingway the Nobel Prize.

In this revision stage, we're going to focus on these words as we start looking at Word Choice (Trait 4): active verbs, compression, clarity, immediacy.

We''ll begin with active verbs in Workshop 1, below.

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Word Choice Workshop #1: Use Strong Verbs

In a new window, open this excellent article: "Using Strong Verbs," and follow these steps:

1. Read the article

2. Pull out the copies of the two students under you on the wiki (you were told to print them out above).

3. Do Exercise #1 on only the first half page of the two students below you on the wiki. Color code them this way (colored pens are in the back shelves):

Red= Active verb (good)

Blue = Passive verb (no subject; form of "be" + past participle)

Green = Sentences using a form of "be" or "have."

4. [NOTE: step 4 and 5 will be done next week] Next week, you will get your feedback from your peer editors, and do Exercise #2 and 3 from the Using Strong Verbs" website: turn all of your passive verbs into active ones, and cut the "attachments" from your verbs.

5. Hit "comment," and copy and paste the "before and after" versions of your two best improvements. Revise your whole story for verbs by the revision deadline.

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Workshop Two: "Beware of Adverbs"

This is a serious problem for many ninth graders, so I want you to pay special attention here. Follow these steps:

1. Open this article in a new window.

2. Read it carefully. Does this "adverb abuse" describe your writing?

3. On your own story, do exercises #1-4 (it shouldn't take long) on your whole story.

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Workshop Three: "Digging for the Concrete and Specific" (Nouns, mostly.)

1. Read this article.

2. Give peer feedback on the two students under your name. Read the first page of their stories, and identify the word choices that are not concrete. Suggest at least three changes. Bring to school on Monday and Tuesday.